‘How can I forgive when it still hurts so much’?
You know how sometimes it feels so hard to forgive someone who has hurt you, or treated you badly? Or how difficult it is to get over something that you feel has made your life so much harder? You feel so justified in your anger, so self righteous with your pain and anguish, and so upset over whatever the incident is that has caused you so much grief? This can be especially challenging, if you have been hurt repeatedly and this is just another incident that has added to your pain.
Anger and frustration become ‘stuck energy’, and you can’t seem to let them go no matter how hard you try. You find yourself mulling over the incident or the ‘story’ of what happened, and with each telling the pain is worse.
I know how that feels, as I also have felt like that at different times in my life. I know the pain of rejection and the pain of feeling like you will never ever be able to move on from this overwhelming feeling of hurt and upset. You go round and round in circles and end up feeling worse and worse.
What I also know is that long term anger and resentment is destructive if not addressed.
Our emotions are neither good or bad, they are what they are, it is how we deal with them that causes problems.
For example, If you don’t deal with your anger in appropriate ways and keep stuffing it down or away, it eats away at you from the inside out, and eventually, (speaking from my own experience) comes back to bite you on the backside, often in the form of depression and anxiety or stress related illnesses.
So what is the solution?
The solution sounds simple although it truly can be one of the most difficult lessons we have to learn.
The solution is forgiveness.
- forgive the person who hurt you,
- forgive the situation that occurred and continues to cause you pain.
- forgive yourself
As Louise Hay says in her book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, ‘forgiveness is about setting yourself free, because, by holding on to resentment and anger we only hurt ourselves. No matter how justified we feel we are to have our resentments and hatreds it still hurts us. We cannot bring good into our worn lives as long as we are sitting in our prisons of self-righteous resentment.
For our spiritual growth we must rise about our need to stay hurt and let go of the past.
Forgiveness is truly a gift to yourself. And miracles happen when we forgive or are willing to forgive.’
Below you can listen to Louise sharing a wonderful meditation that will guide you through an exercise which will help you to release old anger and hurt and move on to forgiveness.
I love this gift from Louise, it truly is powerful and healing meditation, and I hope you will love it as much as I do.
Take the time to listen, and notice how wonderful you feel at the end.
Until next time